Photo illustration by John Lyman

World News


Putin, Trump, and Alaska

Russia sold Alaska to the US in 1867 and Vladimir Putin wants it returned to its historical homeland. I have no facts to back up this statement because there are none that have been made available to the public. However, what Russian patriot does not dream about this possibility? The successful annexation of the Crimea has inspired the President of the Russian Federation. And why not? The Russians are considering several options for the return of Alaska one of which has been given the code name “Alaska-Trump.”

According to Putin’s plans, Alaska could become part of Russia in 2017, just as easily and suddenly as Crimea became part of Russia in March 2014. Do you know why? Because whereas Obama says what he wants, Putin does whatever he wants. See the difference?

The Russian plan for the “Alaska-Trump” is quite simple. It provides for the return of Alaska in exchange for a multibillion-dollar perpetual contract with the Russian administration and the administration of the President of the United States for the building of the Alaska Trump hotels and other properties. Should the Republican candidate win the election on November 8, Alaska will become a monumental construction site, using Russian money, and will be the new Grand Babylon of Trump.

Putin supports Trump and hopes for the miracle that will elect him the Republican President of the United States. Something interesting about Russians – they always hope for a miracle, even in desperate situations. They grew up with characters from Russian fairy tales which can easily compete with the magical power of Harry Potter. The heroes of Russian kids are the Firebird, the magic humpbacked horse, a magic carpet, wish-granting golden fish, the magic tablecloth, cap of invisibility, seven-league boots… Russian people believe that they can eventually live better lives than they are presently. So, if in Russia things are bad economically in a world of bad policies, then ordinary Russian people can hope for a miracle with the face of Trump.

The name “Trump” mesmerizes Putin. The Russians attach great importance to the harmonious sound and meaning of names and surnames. In this regard, they like to repeat the phrase from the popular Soviet cartoon Adventures of Captain Vrungel: “As called ship, so it will float.” The surname “Trump” is attractive and harmonious to the Russian ear, as in the translation, likewise in the original. However, the Russians don’t know that Trump could be Trumpf because the migration worksheet of his grandfather, an ethnic German, who came to America in 1885, is preserved in American archives. After settling in America, Trump’s grandfather changed his surname to one that was more harmonious to English speaking people. Trump began to actively develop the family brand since the late 90’s and to this day it has reached as far as the Russian borderlands.

Putin is a warrior, and he also sees Trump as a military man. Russians respect real warriors, because of their history of conflicts and fighting. They know the real price of military victories and defeats. For this reason, Trump is appealing to Russians because at the age of 13 years old he studied at the New York military Academy. But few people know that Trump came to the Academy not according to his own will, but at the insistence of his parents, who were tired of his arrogance and disobedience. His classmates at the military academy will tell you that Trump was never a warrior and never wanted to be a fighter. In 1969, young Donald had a chance to be conscripted to Vietnam to show his bravery and courage. However, lacking those attributes, he managed to avoid service in the army, deceitfully obtaining a respite due to the presence of heel spurs, which of note, 80% of cases affect only women.

Another fact that flatters Putin is that for the first time in the history of a United States’ election the name of the Russian President is constantly broadcasted across the air waves. But Trump is a man-gambler trying to appear bigger and more important than he really is. At the meeting of the National press club in Washington in 2014, Trump boasted that the year before he was in Moscow, where he talked “directly and indirectly” with Putin, who was friendly as ever. In reality, however, Putin has never met with Trump. The psychological portrait of Trump is that his painful love for money, success and fame encourage him to engage in public deception.

So, during the first Republican debate, Fox News anchor Chris Wallace asked the brisk billionaire why the nation should trust him to run the country’s business when Trump Corp’s casinos and hotels have declared bankruptcy four times over the last quarter-century. In response, the real estate mogul argued that he used the country’s bankruptcy laws to help his business. “Because I have used the laws of this country just like the greatest people that you read about every day in business have used the laws of this country, the chapter laws, to do a great job for my company, my employees, myself and my family,” Trump said. “I have never gone bankrupt.” Perhaps the Russians believed Trump in those days. But today, all of America knows that the construction tycoon with a fortune of $4 billion really initiated four questionable bankruptcies.

But Trump is not the one saving the horse on which Putin should bet. The expectations of the Russian people are in vain. Since childhood, Trump has had problems with bad behavior. To list all of his shortcomings would be impossible. Suffice it to say that he is an extremely unreliable politician. The truth has uncovered the last 30 years of the life of Trump. He was a member of the Republican Party for 12 years and an unscrupulous billionaire betrayed by Republicans in 1999. In the same year, the traitor turned to the Reformist party. Parting with the reformists was his second party betrayal. In 2001, Trump left the Republican Party and became a member of the Democratic Party. However, after 8 short years he committed his third betrayal, leaving the Democratic Party. And on the eve of the presidential elections in 2016, Trump once again became a loyal Republican.

I admit, a month ago, I was a strong supporter of Trump. But, thank God common sense prevailed in my mind as I understood the failure of Trump to keep his word and go to the end. I am ready to disclose the cheap populism of Trump to Russia and his inability to make America great again. I invite Donald to play Russian roulette on his terms.

If Trump is not a shameful card trickster, who, under the table replaces cards, and he is an honest player and a visionary politician who is ready to fight to win, then he will accept the challenge. As the initiator of the fight, I’ll be the first to spin the drum of a revolver. But until that happens, we, the Americans and the Russians, must engrave in gold letters on each banner the surname “Trump” the priceless phrase of the great Spaniard Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra: “A Man Without Honor is Worse than Dead.”

It should be said that the emergence of Russian roulette in Russia is associated with the Russian soldiers and officers, for which the category of honor was more important than human life. Is there any concept of honor in the worldview of Trump? I have every reason to doubt it. Perhaps honor is for Trump considered an abstract category, invented by visionaries or philosophers. But in the Russian system of values, honor is not an abstract concept. In some cases, it is of great importance. American politicians should know that no negotiation with Russia is possible without taking into account this factor.

I want to emphasize that for the proposed duel Trump and I are about equal in military categories. He is a graduate of New York military Academy; I’m the youngest Sergeant in the reserves who was awarded the badge of Ministry of defense of the USSR “Excellent Soviet Army.” And I agree with William Shakespeare who said: “As I love the name of honour more than I fear death.”

Donald’s father, Fred Trump, made 20 million dollars and Donald has managed to increase it. But was he able to develop the concept of honor? Judging by his ugly remarks about Clinton, racist statements against the Mexican people, his Satan’s spitting in the direction of Muslims and other tricks, Trump is confident in his impunity, and, to all appearances, he’s not going to be held responsible for his low offenses in the court of honor. But if Trump is a true patriot of the United States, with an ounce of courage, then he should accept the offer to defend honor and the moral right to be President of the United States. “Human happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected,” George Washington said that to people like Trump.

I don’t want to do evil to Trump. But I don’t need to be a prophet to predict that whatever the outcome of the game, Trump will become a national hero to some in America, proving to the world that the category of honor is not for him an empty sound. His fateful act will be to make America great again.

Well, if Trump is worth anything, let his fight be for not only the greatest reality show in American history, but in the history of the world. Because each person from among the 7 billion people on this earth can take part in this wager, betting on the death or survival of the player. But, my friends, in any case, Americans, Russians or Mexicans might be amused to see a nervous Trump finger on the trigger of a revolver, but they would take no comfort knowing that his finger was anywhere near the nuclear button. However, I am sure that the extreme duel is something the weak, boastful billionaire can’t ever engage in because America’s future and the consequences of his insane actions were never important to Trump to begin with.