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Writer’s Almanac: Not All That Glitters is Gold
A curious student navigates the hype and disillusionment of cryptocurrency mining through the enthusiastic yet speculative guidance of his crypto-savvy peers.
As I sat savoring the soothing weather in the caliphate city, the familiar chorus of frogs filled the air. The sound, however, was abruptly interrupted by Sodiq—a colleague whose devotion to the shimmering promises of cryptocurrency dividends was nothing short of astonishing.
The message, though unspoken, was woven into his every word like fine linen in royal garments. Sodiq had come with a mission: to introduce me to his latest side hustle—Hamster Combat, a crypto mining project on Telegram. The platform’s allure was simple yet enticing: play games, claim daily rewards, refer friends for bonuses, and buy virtual coins to boost your earnings. The more you invest, the higher your chances of cashing in.
“Where’s your phone?” Sodiq demanded impatiently, already rifling through my pockets. Knowing his relentless enthusiasm, I gave in and handed it over. What followed felt like a gold rush buried beneath the most unyielding soil—time slowed as I watched him navigate my phone, lost in the digital trenches of Hamster Combat.
After what seemed like an eternity—though it was likely just a few minutes—I reclaimed my phone, only to be met with stern instructions delivered in his cracked, dry voice. “Take this seriously! It’s one of the surest mining projects.” His gaze remained glued to his Samsung smartphone screen as he tapped furiously, increasing his cash rewards. “This process,” he explained, “involves using coins gained while tapping to buy coins under ‘My Cards’ or ‘Special Cards.’”
His crypto partner, Onimisi, cut in. “I’m out of data,” he announced, interrupting Sodiq’s tutorial on getting rich with Hamster Combat. “Could you please help with your hotspot connection?” Despite being low on data and funds, Onimisi still had the sharpness to introduce Sodiq to a new cipher that promised millions of coins by simply encrypting words they gathered from tapping a virtual doll.
As the morning sun began to beat down, I reluctantly gave in to my curiosity, not wanting to miss out on updates from this peculiar Telegram-based employer. Onimisi, for his part, displayed an impressive grasp of their new venture.
“Onimisi, I’d like you to put me through,” I asked, cautiously hiding my ignorance in the presence of these agba miners, the unofficial title bestowed on crypto-savvy students at Usmanu Danfodiyo University Sokoto, a university situated in the northwestern part of Nigeria. “Of course,” Onimisi replied, gesturing to Sodiq for a handshake. “I’m ready whenever you are.”
The days that followed were enlightening, though marred by Sodiq and Onimisi’s constant debates about how to spend their newfound wealth. Tasks were easier with the reliable MTN network, but Onimisi’s frequent comparisons of my modest coin earnings to their own—just a fraction of what they amassed—chipped away at my enthusiasm.
In the end, Onimisi surprised me with a sobering thought: “I shouldn’t have built castles in the air. Which airdrop would yield huge numbers in daily rewards and PPH (profit per hour) for a good exchange rate?”
Wonderful Adegoke is a 300-level medical student at Usmanu Danfodiyo University Sokoto (UDUS), and a campus reporter interested in uncovering societal ills. His work has been published in the Daily Reality, Harbinger Media and other reputable media outlets.