I thought that phrase was funny when I first saw it uttered by Pogo the Possum in Walt Kelly’s comic strip “Pogo” during the 1960’s. I knew it was a take on “We have met the enemy, and they are ours” the bombastically heroic dispatch sent by Oliver Hazard Perry, commander of the American fleet at the Battle of Lake Erie, to General (later president) William Henry Harrison on September 10, 1813. Now, more than 50 years later, it doesn’t seem so funny. It’s now too true to be funny.

We now have a president who sees a United States surrounded by enemies. Vast armies of Spanish speaking immigrants, all of them dangerous criminals, are on the march toward our un-walled borders. They must be repelled, even their children, who will grow up to be drug traffickers, welfare cheats and deserve incarceration. Foreigners are stealing our jobs and ripping us off…the Chinese, the Mexicans, the Europeans, even the Canadians. The United Nations is pushing us around and telling us what to do. NATO is stiffing us for defending them. Pay up or we’ll pack up and leave! Moslem terrorists are plotting another 9/11 even as we speak; all those Christian-hating nations, except Saudi Arabia, the source of most of the 9/11 terrorists…but they’re rolling in dough so that’s different, wouldn’t want to miss out on a sweet multi-billion-dollar arms deal, would we?

CNN and others in the Fake News Business keep purposely and inaccurately reporting that I said the “Media is the Enemy of the People.” Wrong! I said that the “Fake News (Media) is the Enemy of the People,” a very big difference. When you give out false information – not good!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 30, 2018

Our old friends and allies are ganging up on us while nations we used to consider treacherous have turned into teddy bears. Time for our own Fearless Leader ala “Rocky and Bullwinkle” to fawn over his significant other Vlad Putin. Does macho man Vlad play golf? Time to invite him to a private Trump Course for a few intimate lessons. Can’t forget to write Kim Jong-Un another love note. He’s been such a dear to me. I really admire a strong man who can keep his people in line. So many important things to do. Gotta’ keep my “Make America Hate Again” roadshow wowing my tremendous fans. Love to hear those “Lock Her Up, Lock Her Up”s echoing it the crisp fall air. Great fun to ramble on with the old name calling shtick…Pocahontas, Lyin’ Ted…oops, gotta’ put that one on hold. Push back this, push back that…How about another tax cut? Comin’ right up folks!

If only failing CNN and all those other minions of the deep state would leave me alone. But no, they blow this pipe bombing thing all out of proportion. Who’s to say it wasn’t one of those false flag operations by left-wing radical Democrats. You say all the intended targets were Democrats? Maybe this wild and crazy guy was a tad too enthusiastic about me. I can’t help that, can I? What did I ever say that would encourage him? Fake news…fakey, fakey fake news. Didn’t I tell my people what a nice guy I am? Isn’t that enough! And then this Synagogue thing. I read my usual ‘Americans Must Be United’ script, the one I read after every one of these annoying little incidents threaten to distract people from adoring me. I tell the victims they should have had more armed guards. Isn’t that reasonable? I’ve got lots of security myself. Nobody will ever get to me.

Ah, well. Looks like Security’s going to be our new growth industry. Don’t bother sending your kids to college, folks. What this nation requires is more assault rifle totin’ Rambos. Don’t even need a high school diploma to qualify for those jobs. From now on we’ve gotta’ defend ourselves from ourselves. Donald Trump has so divided the nation that we don’t need any foreign terrorists. Could this be what he means when he talks of bringing jobs back to America? Unfortunately, we can’t expect him or his rabid followers to change their strident tune. The more hate he, and they, pump out the more divided America is going to be. The more divided we are the more innocent victims will die. What I can’t understand is why so many of us are so mad. We have problems. When haven’t there been problems? We used to knuckle down and try to solve those problems. Now we blame those problems on others, so we don’t have to try to solve them ourselves. “We have met the enemy, and he is us.” The sooner we realize that, the sooner we can begin to solve our problems. We have the resources to solve them. We have the brains to solve them. We need to get off our ranting whining blame-placing asses and work together to solve them!